Sharing a letter Lauren Foti, founder of the @craftroom.nj, wrote when her oldest son Henry was little. Even though Henry is now in elementary school, her raw look at parenting a severely allergic toddler, and its impact on her ability to connect with other moms, pulled our heartstrings. Just like we want our kids to be one of the bunch, we want to be one of the bunch with the other moms, too. As moms – food allergy or not – we parent hard and we love harder because that’s what moms do. But all of us deserve some grace from each other that lifts us up and sustains us through the hard. Read and learn what’s on Lauren’s mind:
dear cool moms–
not gonna lie…i always imagined i’d be one of you. sipping on some coffee, casually chatting & actually listening to conversations with other moms while our kids were ‘somewhere’ nearby.
yea. that didn’t work out.
anyway…
i’ve been wanting to reach out to you for a while and since it’s back to school and everyone’s busily reconnecting after summer break, i thought this would be the perfect time…
turns out i’m probably what you would call one of those helicopter moms, maybe not to my face, but behind my back? you watch me watch my child & laugh to yourself that you’ve got it figured out. you’re so relaxed. i appear frazzled. tense.
i am both of those things most days. i follow my kid around at the park, the gym, group classes, parties. I hover. i constantly wash his hands. you see me.
my son is just two, after all, and i find it crazy to even have to think about justifying how i watch my child at this age, but nothing will change next year, or the year after that even. I will most likely still look on edge, half listening to your conversation, one eye always on my boy because in a split second he could make a terrible mistake.
before you go thinking everything you thought about me is true — i’m a totally over-dramatic, over-protective, type-A mom — maybe stop and think. you don’t know the whole story…
you weren’t with my child when he had a few ounces of formula with milk in it at two months and needed an epi pen and oxygen in the ambulance because he wasn’t breathing.
you weren’t there when his throat closed up because he tried a scrambled egg & projectile vomited in an ambulance.
you didn’t sit on pins and needles while he went through a peanut challenge, eating tiny bites of peanut over hours until he either reacted and had to have a shot of epinephrine, or he didn’t. (he didn’t btw. he passed!)
my point is…we should give each other grace. we shouldn’t judge each other…we’re all just moms…doing our best.
until I know my son won’t grab some random sippy cup or snack, i’ll be watching.
i’ll still use the high chair/shopping cart cover, even though you think it’s overkill and ridiculous. what you don’t know is that just touching a stray goldfish crumb – snack of choice for toddlers – could give him hives, or worse. It’s happened.
until he and our friends and family, myself included, are educated enough, i’ll be by his side. i’ll be watching.
…but if you ever want to have half a conversation just let me know.
i’m here. and maybe we can be friends.
– Lauren (helicopter mom)
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Food allergy mom, Lauren Foti, is teaching her young son about his food allergies, celebrating successes and learning along the way. |
| About the Author: Lauren Foti and her 3 sons live by the beach in her hometown Cape May, New Jersey. Creativity, fun, music, and adventure are a priority for their family. Lauren has been sewing and crafting for over 20 years and sharing it with her children brings her the greatest joy. Being together as a family, making safe treats, watching sunsets, kitchen dance parties…these are a few of their favorite things. Follow their sweet life at the beach @thecraftroom.nj | |
Images: Saturnus99 on Pexels, Allergy Force on Canva, and Lauren Foti