We have relatives who jump through hoops to make every holiday dinner safe for our adult son with severe food allergies. This has been happening for years. Their kindness and consideration touch our hearts, gifting us with peace of mind during the holiday celebrations. But that’s not all they do. Our family is a tough crew to feed on many levels. Find out why…
“Kindness is doing ordinary things with extraordinary love”
—RAKTIVIST, Random Acts of Kindness Foundation
Kindness matters. It makes life’s ups and downs a bit easier to bear.
And you always remember kindness….how it made you feel.
…Like relatives jumping through hoops to make a holiday meal safe for our adult son with food allergies. (Yeah, he didn’t outgrow all of them. Still severely allergic to eggs and peanuts with a few random legumes thrown into the mix to keep him on his toes.)
Here’s what my son’s Aunt and Uncle do.
We’ve traditionally been the Thanksgiving go-to house for the family, but we haven’t been able to host the past couple of years. My husband’s brother and his wife have graciously stepped in to host Thanksgiving (then Christmas day, too!) for a crowd of 16-18 people with very VERY healthy appetites.
We’re a ‘food is love’ family with Italian roots and beyond being together and catching up, good food is the focal point when we spend time together.
We feast. Together.
A Lesson in Food Allergy Gratitude
We’re incredibly grateful for and to my husband’s brother and wife, not only for their generosity, but for the consideration they show our allergic son. And not only to our son with food allergies, but to all our family members who follow special lifestyle diets. (There’s a lot of them!)
It’s not an easy crew to feed, between ANA allergies to eggs, peanuts & some legumes, as well as Whole Food, Plant-Based (WFPB), pescatarian and Vegan lifestyle choices.
That means that some family members won’t touch turkey, but will eat fish. Some won’t touch any animal products at all, but will eat cooked vegetables and fresh greens. Forget dairy anything, anywhere. And desserts can’t contain eggs or peanuts or legume-based ingredients like chickpea flour or pea protein — preferably (usually) they need to be homemade so cross contact’s not a worry.
My husband’s brother and wife (also long time food allergy parents) handle it all with grace, making sure everyone at the table has good food to eat that’s safe and respects their different dietary needs/choices.
Such kindness. Thanksgiving dinner is hard enough to host without a lot of dietary constraints to cater to. The concept of ‘potluck’ is foreign to us.
Trust is everything for a food allergy family and we’re able to trust that our son can enjoy his T-day holiday, eating the same things as his relatives around the table without undue worry over an allergen ambush.
This is what inclusion looks like, feels like.
But face it, even with diligence, allergen encounters can and do happen. Our son had a surprise allergic reaction last Christmas Eve at our home, his first serious reaction in years, eating homemade food we’d carefully prepared with ingredients we’d vetted. To this day the trigger remains a mystery. The surprise is indelibly imprinted in our memory, a stark reminder that joy can turn to fear in a heartbeat when you’re allergic and food is involved.
So, even with trust, our now adult son does rely on a few ‘worst case scenario’ strategies…just in case. He:
- Brings his AuviQ. The bad news? His mom’s nagging (with love) to ‘Carry Two’ only prompts eye rolls, not action. The good news? His cousin needs epinephrine for his food allergies, too, so if a second dose were needed, it’d be within immediate reach.
- Carries dissolvable Claritin tablets in his wallet.
- Answers any menu questions his Aunt sends him by text before the holiday, plus reviews any food labels she sends him in advance.
- Day of, he triple checks ingredients in the dishes and reads food labels his Aunt has set aside for him. The good news? 99.9% of menu items are on replay from years of holidays past — it’s rare that anything new or exotic pops up. The bad news? Label reading only gets you so far and manufacturers have mislabeled foods with tragic consequences.
We are so grateful for our relatives who do ordinary things with such extraordinary love (and care.)
Find joy. Give thanks.
Wishing you and yours a safe holiday season! We hope you find welcome among family and friends, are able to trust, and can enjoy moments big and small with peace of mind as you celebrate.
PS: Take a look at my post on strategies for navigating holidays with food allergies that compares the pluses and minuses of hosting vs. guest-ing. It can help you think through how to navigate your way through guest-ing for the holidays. Plus don’t miss my post with tips for traveling safely with food allergies over the holidays, by car vs. flying.
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Empowering people to live more easily & safely with food allergies through technology and education. |
| About the Author: Gayle Rigione, food allergy advocate and content creator, is CEO & Co-founder of Allergy Force. She’s also an allergy mom. She’s lived the heart stopping moments when her son ate the wrong thing, second guessed reactions and raced to the ER. Her professional and personal experiences fuel her passion for creating tech and educational tools for people with food allergies. Whatever you do, do it with a full heart. Audentes Fortuna Iuvat | |
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